


Barbed Wire Stitches

by pomonasprout



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Get Together, Hate might be a little harsh but 'Dislike to love' sounds odd so, Hate to Love, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Meaning Remus isn't friends with the other three Marauders at first, Nothing horrid or explicit but still, Parental Abuse, Romance, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-12-18 13:12:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18250541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomonasprout/pseuds/pomonasprout
Summary: Half an hour or so later, another boy entered the compartment (...) He was quite scrawny with a mop of sandy blonde hair and a tired look in his eyes, and Sirius could see a fair few scars on his neck and one on his left cheek. His robes were brand new and of the expensive kind, and when he opened his mouth and formally introduced himself as Remus Lupin, Sirius concluded that this one was even more of a snotty git than Lily.A Marauders Era Wolfstar-fic in which Remus isn't initially friends with the other Marauders on account of him being a tad stuck-up.





	1. Autumn '71-summer '76

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Okay, so, for the first time in many years, I've decided to write a chaptered fic, and it's my first fic of any significant length in the HP-fandom, so I'm really excited! Anyways, this is gonna be a Wolfstar-fic with some side Jily, and it's got a wee bit of canon divergence in the sense that Remus isn't friends with the other three Marauders at first and that he comes from a family with money (still a Gryffindor and still a werewolf, though!). Other than that, I'll stick to canon to the best of my abilities, though a canon incident or two will be pushed to later points in the boys' time at Hogwarts (this being because, as said, Remus isn't friends with other three boys at first), and I hope no one minds those changes too much :)) Also, the canon incident where Snape calls Lily a slur does occur, but it happens in a different setting (in the summer between their fourth and fifth year) and it happens off-screen. It'll be talked about in a later chapter, and I'm also thinking I might do a quick one-shot about it at a later point, though. 
> 
> The plan right now is to have the fic end with the boys leaving Hogwarts in the summer of 1978, aka. there won't be any major character deaths. If I decide to continue the story beyond that, I'll start a new fic and make a series out of this. But one step at the time! I don't know the exact chapter count at this point; I know how it's gonna end, and I know a fair few things that are gonna happen and be dealt with, but the exact chapter count can be anything between 20 and 50, so we'll see!
> 
> Now the first chapter is mainly meant as a prologue of sorts (though it turned out around 6k longer than I intended), to show a little bit of the boys' lives before the start of the main plot, so it's got a pretty obvious "summary"-feeling to it. The rest of the fic will NOT be like that, chapter 2 and onwards will be more fleshed out, and mostly somewhere between 2k and 4k in length.

_**First year** _  
_1971-1972_

According to Sirius' watch, it’s been exactly thirty-five minutes and eight seconds since he left his parents on Platform 9 ¾, and he already feels fifty pounds lighter. Thirty-five minutes and eight seconds of sitting in an otherwise empty compartment on the Hogwarts express, ready to be carried away to where his parents' glaring disapproval can’t reach him. He feels free, he feels properly happy for the first time in a while, he feels-

“Oi, does that hair of yours affect your hearing?”

Sirius snaps out of his own head. In the open compartment door stands a boy, seemingly a fellow first year as there are no colours on his tie or on his robes. “Sorry, got my ears full of wax,” Sirius says in a possibly poor attempt at a joke.

The boy grins, so maybe the attempt wasn’t that poor. “Can I sit here?” he asks.

Sirius nods quickly. In his silent mind, he’s happy to have company. It was getting a wee bit dull looking at the practically identical surroundings pass by outside the window. 

The boy sits down opposite of Sirius and gives him a curious glance. “Who are you?” he asks after a few seconds.

“Sirius Black,” Sirius says. He considers reaching out a hand for James to shake, but ultimately decides against it. He’s not his father. “And you?”

“James Potter,” the boy says.

Sirius feels a surge of relief. Any Potter would know the reputation of the Black-family, and James doesn't seem to mind Sirius' company despite said reputation. The thought makes him release some of the tension he didn't even know he had in his shoulders.

They’re later joined by two other first years. A girl with flaming red hair and a boy with shoulder-length black hair. They’re too busy talking to each other to pay any attention to Sirius or James, and Sirius is fine with that, especially since from what he can tell, the black-haired boy is just a tad too interested in the dark arts. The girl, Lily, is clearly muggle born as she answers everything Severus says with a confused expression and a question.

At some point, an argument errupts about houses. Severus, apparently, is biased towards Slytherin, which makes James grimace, which again makes Sirius uneasy. Lily seems to find the argument dull and irritating when a couple of minutes have passed, and it doesn't take long before she stands up and says, rather snottily in Sirius' opinion, “Come on, Severus, let’s find another compartment.”

As Severus follows her, James and Sirius look at each other and then, at the exact same time, let out a whistle of, “Oooo …” As Severus walks past them, James sticks out a foot in an attempt at making him trip. He’s unsuccessful and makes up for the failure by calling, “See ya, Snivellus!” just as the compartment door slams shut.

Sirius snorts. “What a git.”

“Yeah. Imagine _wanting_ to be in Slytherin,” James says, shaking his head. “Bloke must be daft.”

“Or he comes from a long lineage of Slytherins,” Sirius says.

“ _You_ were from a long lineage of Slytherins last time I checked,” James argues. “And you don't seem too keen on ending up there yourself.”

Sirius doesn't have a good response to that, so he just shrugs. James doesn't push the matter.

Half an hour or so later, another boy enters the compartment, initially in search for a Prefect, but for whatever reason, he decides to stay. He’s quite scrawny with a mop of sandy blonde hair and a tired look in his eyes, and Sirius can see a fair few scars on his neck and one on his left cheek. His robes are all brand new and of the expensive kind, and when he opens his mouth and formally introduces himself as Remus Lupin, Sirius concludes that this one's even more of a snotty git than Lily.

“How far have you come with your reading?” Remus asks them.

Sirius blinks. “What?”

Remus rolls his eyes. “Your reading,” he repeats. “How far have you come?”

“We haven't even started school yet,” Sirius says sourly.

“I've skimmed through all the books except for the potions-one,” James offers, possibly sensing danger.

Remus throws Sirius a look that clearly says, _'You're an idiot'_ before he turns his full attention to James. Sirius resists the urge to stick his tongue out at Remus, and instead settles for crossing his arms and glaring out the window for the next fifteen minutes.

It's raining heavily when the train stops in Hogsmeade. Sirius barely notices; now that they're almost there, he's starting to feel nervous. The nerves persist until he's sitting on the stool in the Great Hall, all eyes on him, and the sorting hat shouts out, “Gryffindor!” That's when his nerves turn into an odd combination of joy and absolute dread. He didn't end up in Slytherin, which he's over the moon about, but at the same time, _he didn't end up in Slytherin_ , which means his days are numbered. The minute his parents find out, they'll come marching through the doors, drag him to the highest tower in the castle and throw him off it. 

Remus also ends up in Gryffindor, and Sirius scowls at the table. But then James also does, and he practically runs down to the table and plonks down next to Sirius', grinning so widely Sirius can't help but grin back. As long as he has an ally and friend in James, it'll be fine.

A better part of Sirius' first term at Hogwarts is spent doing everything he's not supposed to, and nothing that he _is_ supposed to. In addition to him, James and Remus, their dormitory is inhabited by a fourth boy named Peter Pettigrew. He's a small, slightly chubby, chronically nervous lad, but he's a good laugh and he's more than happy to spend all his time exploring the castle and the grounds with Sirius and James. 

Remus proves already their first week that he's every bit as much of a nuisance as Sirius suspected. It seems that in Remus' world, every moment that isn't spent studying or reprimanding others for not studying, is a moment wasted. 

Peter gets along fine with Remus, though. As opposed to Sirius, Peter actually takes in Remus' criticism when it comes to schoolwork, and by the time November rolls around, the two of them seem to have bonded over everything school-related. Sirius finds it pathetic, James thinks it's somewhat laughable, but also nice. Irritatingly enough, James and Remus seem to share some sort of mutual respect for each other. They don't get along per say, but Remus doesn't criticise James' lack of good study habits to nearly the same extent as he does Sirius'.

And that leaves Sirius as the weird one, the one who's always getting into quarrels with one of Gryffindor's new star students. He just finds Remus stuck-up, is all; he reminds him of Regulus, minus the mild blood supremacy tendencies.

Winter comes and goes, and before Sirius, James and Peter know it, they've almost reached the end of their first year at Hogwarts. While James and Peter are longing to travel home for the summer, Sirius isn't looking forward to the holiday at all. It'll be nice to be back in London, but to spend a whole summer back with his family... he's not happy about the prospect. He's gotten used to the freedom he has at Hogwarts, no one who's watching his every move (there are limits as to how much attention Bellatrix and Narcissa can pay him), no one who limits his food portions so that he won't put on weight, no one who randomly decides to quiz him on pure-blood families in Europe in the 17th century. 

He's also gonna miss his friends a lot.

“You could come spend the summer at my place,” James suggests one afternoon as May's drawing to a close. They've just finished with their exams in Charms, Herbology and Potions that day, and are enjoying the warm afternoon sun out in the park. “We've got plenty of room, you'd get your own bedroom and all, and mum and dad wouldn't mind.”

“Doubt my parents will let me,” Sirius says with a shrug.

“Doesn't hurt to ask, does it?” Peter says from where he's lying on his back in the grass, eyes closed against the sun.

So Sirius sends a letter to his parents and asks. He works hard on the letter; he uses his very best parchment, he words himself in a way he knows they'll approve of, he makes sure his handwriting is impeccable, and he even signs the letter using the personalised wax steal stamp that his father gave him for his ninth birthday. The response arrives four days later. As expected, the answer is no. Surprisingly enough, however, they've added a note at the end, which says that if he behaves, they would consider letting him stay with James the last few days of the vacation.

It's that thought that keeps Sirius going in the several weeks he has to spend at home. Though he knows he should have expected it, his parents don't allow him to visit James when summer draws to a close. Apparently, he's embarrassed them on a number of occasions, and he's therefore in no way to be rewarded.

A part of Sirius wants to shed angry tears when he's gone to bed that evening, but he doesn't. He buries himself deep under the covers, pushes the thought of his parents out of his head, and looks forward to the 1st of September.

It'll be fine. He'll manage.

_**Second year** _  
_1972-1973_

This year's train ride to Hogwarts shares many similarities with last year's. It's just him and James in the compartment for the first hour or so before Peter joins them. Much to Sirius' annoyance, they're then joined by Remus, who barely acknowledges Sirius' existence, exchanges some pleasantries with James, and then delves into a discussion about the second year booklist with Peter. Some time after that, Lily comes along with Severus in tow, and while Severus just sits there, looking displeased, Lily chats amicably with Remus and Peter.

It's not that he didn't expect it, but his stomach still drops an inch or two when, during the sorting ceremony, Regulus is placed in Slytherin. Regulus looks pleased when he jumps off the stool and scampers down to the Slytherin table, but he also throws Sirius a look that says, _'Sorry'_. Sirius looks down and sighs.

“Still the only Black in several centuries who's wound up in Gryffindor, then?” Remus says from the other side of the table, where he's sitting between Lily and James.

Sirius shrugs and says, “I quite like being unique.”

For a split second, Remus looks like he might smile.

Their second year at Hogwarts consists of slightly more studying and slightly less exploring. Neither Sirius, James nor Peter received particularly good marks on their exams before the summer, and while they'd like to turn their nose up and pretend they couldn't care less, they do care, at least enough to put in a tiny bit of effort. Peter puts in a lot of effort, James and Sirius slightly less, yet they receive more or less the same results. Sometime around Christmas, Peter starts grumbling about how unfair it is that some people are naturally gifted while others aren't.

During a Charms class one day in the middle of February, James somehow manages to multiply the snail he was supposed to enlarge. The result is that within ten seconds, the classroom is close to being flooded with snails in various sizes. Chaos ensues and James, Sirius and Peter can barely breathe from laughing at the sight of shrieking students that all of a sudden have snails crawling here on there on them. Remus, Sirius notices, plucks three out of his hair and while he doesn't shriek, he looks thoroughly disgusted and keeps shooting daggers at James and, for some reason, Sirius as well.

Their take on this experience is not that they should start studying harder in order to avoid similar accidents in the future, but rather that to cause chaos was quite a bit of fun, and that they ought to do it more often. It's just small things that require minimal amounts of effort and planning, but the thing about being enrolled in a school that teaches magic, is that the tiniest bit of tweak can cause quite a large ruckus. In Potions classes, for instance, it's easy to unravel everything and everyone; one wrong ingredient or slightly too much of the right ingredient in a potion can result in everything from exploding cauldrons, to enormous amounts of thick, deep purple fog that renders everyone temporarily blind, to extremely ill-smelling spirals of muddy green smoke that has most of the class running out of the classroom in search for fresh air.

It doesn't take more than a couple of weeks of James, Sirius and sometimes Peter causing disturbances in one or more of their classes a day, before McGonagall starts to see a pattern, and summons them to her office. They're reprimanded and given detention and lose thirty points each from Gryffindor. They don't take it too seriously, though; they lay low for a couple of days before they start up again, albeit not as often.

Remus, who Sirius would have expected a stupid amount of reprimands from, merely says, “If you have to perform these pranks, you could at the very least be a little more eloquent and clever about it,” when they're called out by Slughorn late in April during a potions class. 

“What's that supposed to mean?” Sirius snaps after Slughorn is done taking points from Gryffindor and giving out detentions.

Remus merely raises his eyebrows before turning back to his cauldron.

They pay Remus' words no mind, but carry on in the same fashion until the end of the term. Despite all the points they've lost, Gryffindor somehow still wins the housecup. Lily's quick to hiss at them that the victory is no thanks to them. Sirius, James and Peter look at each other, and snort loudly; like they need her to tell them that.

_**Third year** _  
_1973-1974_

Sirius starts his third off year with a feeling of a fresh start, mostly because of the three new classes he's taking. James and Peter wanted all three of them to go for the same classes, and while Sirius found that tempting, he also felt himself being pulled towards other classes than his friends. While James and Peter went with Care of magical creatures, Divination and Muggle studies, Sirius chose Arithmancy, Ancient runes and Muggle studies. It was odd, his way of choosing; the latter one he chose because he knew it would anger his parents; the former two he chose because he's been told by his parents all his life that those were two most valuable classes.

Simultaneously attempting to anger his parents and please his parents. He feels like a walking, talking paradox.

The downside of having opted for these three classes, is that he's accompanied by Remus in all three of them. In Muggle studies, he has James and Peter to stick with, but in the other two he doesn't really know anyone other than Remus. In Ancient runes, Remus pairs up with Lily, but in Arithmancy, Remus doesn't seem to know anyone but Sirius. That is, they both know Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes, two fellow Gryffindor third years who Sirius thinks are okay, but the two girls pair up with each other, leaving Remus and Sirius with only one option. So they sit together, but they don't talk to each other unless they're asked to pair up.

One good thing that comes from being halfway forced to pair up with Remus, is that it doesn't take many weeks before Sirius is sick and tired of Remus always looking at him like he's the least intelligent specimen to ever walk to earth. More than once, he has to bite his tongue to keep himself from either telling the prick to sod off or to hex him. So he throws himself into his schoolwork with vigour. James is displeased, but understanding; while he thinks it's good that Sirius wants to do well, he keeps complaining that it leaves less time for them to figure out new ways to unravel daily life at Hogwarts. 

Then, during breakfast one sunny October morning, things takes another turn when James announces he wants to try out for the Quidditch team that afternoon.

Sirius stops with his toast raised halfway to his mouth. “Weren't the tryouts like... three weeks ago?”

“Indeed, but then Cressida withdrew from the team and Daniel – you know, Alice's brother – got a note from home saying he wasn't allowed on the team, so now they're one Chaser short, because they only had one stand-in.”

“And you know how to play chaser?” Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow. “I've only ever seen you play beater.”

“'Course I know how to play chaser,” James says, indignant. “That's why Frank came to me. Our families run in the same circles, yeah? So he'd heard I was a decent player and asked me if I wanted to try out to be on the team.”

And so James ends up on the Quidditch team after what Frank later describes as, “An exceptional tryout!” After having witnessed a couple of practices, Sirius concludes begrudgingly that James does, indeed, know how to play Chaser. He's rather brilliant, as of matter in fact, and Sirius isn't entirely sure how he feels about it. 

He's happy for James (at least he thinks he is), but they're not equal anymore; James now has something of great value in his life that Sirius doesn't. A place on the Quidditch team makes James' already solid popularity soar, and he's suddenly getting quite a bit of attention from girls – girls in their year, girls younger than them, even a couple of girls in fourth year. And James, he thrives in the attention, while Sirius feels sidelined and second class. Not to mention the fact that Sirius is quite a good Quidditch player himself and could be _just_ as valuable to the team as James is.

Regardless, he doesn't say anything, rather opting to suffer in silence. When James asks questions along the lines of, “What's going on with you?”, Sirius answers with a forced smile and noncommital, “Nothing,” until he's gotten used to the situation, which doesn't happen until it's almost Christmas.

So while James devotes more and more of his time to Quidditch practices, Sirius spends all the time that James isn't available for hanging out on schoolwork. The result is that by the time they're approaching exam season, Sirius is feeling fairly confident in his abilities, while James is in a state of mild despair. Sirius can't help but feel the tiniest bit victorious, which again makes him feel like the worst friend in the world.

James still does relatively well on all his exams, though, and Sirius does very well. He's viciously pleased that his highest scores are in Charms and Arithmancy, only because he knows those are Remus' best subjects.

Coming home for the summer this year is worse than it was last year or the year before. Not because his parents are any worse than they always have been (they ignore him, they lecture him and they tell him what a disappointment he is; he accepts it) or because the house has gotten even less homely, but because being surrounded by a merry crew of Slytherins for two years have left strong marks on Regulus' personality. 

They've always been different, Sirius and Regulus, but at least they used to be able to set aside their differences more often than not and have fun together. Now, on the other hand, Regulus shows clear signs of very much buying into the thought that no one but pure-bloods are worthy of a place in the magical community. His temper has gotten rather bad as well, and he can't seem to even get through dinner without flinging at least three snide remarks at Sirius, Sirius' friends, Sirius being in Gryffindor, or Sirius not living up to Black standards, all of which their parents either ignore or wholeheartedly agree with. 

So when they've gotten through June, July and have reached the beginning of August, Sirius walks around with a constant feeling of fury and sadness. He takes to spending his days wandering the streets of muggle London; he sits in parks and watches the muggles, he locates muggle stores (mostly book- or music shops), and he sits in muggle cafes and drinks tea, eats biscuits (or ice cream, if the weather's hot) and writes letters to James and Peter.

Peter's travelling all over Europe that summer, along with his parents, his aunt and his cousin, and he seems to be having the time of his life. James is having an alright summer he says, but he's bored and he wishes Sirius could come stay with him and his parents for a few weeks before school starts back up. Sirius desperately wants to, but is, predictably enough, not allowed; trying to change his parents' minds by screaming at them and slamming his door didn't help. So he wanders, he starts reading the fourth year curriculum, he takes a lot of naps, and he avoids his family the best he can.

It's fine. He'll be alright.

_**Fourth year** _  
_1974-1975_

Something's changed when they return to Hogwarts that autumn. Two things, to be more exact. 

The first thing is the magical community. There's uneasiness brewing, dark forces on the march, and Sirius feels it from the moment he steps onto Platform 9 ¾ on the 1st of September. There's more murmuring among the older students and the parents, more hushed discussions and a few nervous glances here and there. Sirius has been hearing his parents mention it on and off all summer, and he knows they support whatever it is that's going on. While Sirius has opted not to pay attention to the actual ongoings, he knows that if his parents are supporting it, then he's definitely not. He also knows that if his parents are supporting it, it can't be good and it probably has to do with pure-blood supremacy.

The other things that's changed is... well, many of his co-students. They've grown, they look older, moreso now than at the start of their third year. James has grown considerably taller and his features seem sharper. Peter's taller, but also chubbier. Sirius knows he himself has grown, too; his robes were several inches too short when he tried them on a week or two back. All the girls have changed even more. Marlene in particular, he thinks; she's wearing make-up, quite a bit of it, too, and her chest... there's a lot more of it now than a couple of months ago. Sirius can't help but wink at her as they pass each other in the train corridor, and she responds by smiling widely.

He's not the only one who's noticed the changes the girls have gone through. Forty-five minutes into the train ride, and all Peter's been able to talk about is Mary. James just keeps smiling and saying things about Lily Evans. Sirius grimaces every time; if James is gonna start going out with Lily _'I'm so much better than all of you'_ Evans, Sirius might have to go into hibernation until it's all over.

As the autumn of 1974 progresses, Sirius realises that people in general seem to be a lot more interested in dating and snogging and whatnot than they were at the end of last term. Seeing as Sirius isn't one to leave himself out, he chimes in at every chance.

“She fancies you, I reckon,” James says one rainy October evening when they're sitting in the common room.

Sirius has just made a comment about Marlene and how good she looks with her hair in a high ponytail, and he's now looking directly at her. She's not looking back, but she keeps pushing imagniary strands of hair out of her face and smiling in this coy manner that's definitely not natural.

“Mhm, perhaps,” he responds absentmindedly.

“You should ask her out,” James urges. “She's friends with Lily, yeah? So if you and Marlene start going out, I'd have an excuse to see Lily more, and-”

“I don't think she'll become any more likely to go out with you either way,” says a voice right behind Sirius.

He turns and when he finds Remus standing there, he can't help but roll his eyes. “You're looking unwell,” he says after giving Remus a quick once-over. 

It's true, Remus does look unwell. Sirius didn't see him on the platform, on the train or anywhere else their first day back, but when they met a couple of days later for their Arithmancy class, he couldn't help but notice that Remus definitely looked ragged. Taller than before, yes, but just as scrawny and lanky, and definitely very tired-looking. If Sirius wasn't completely mistaken, there were a few fresh scars to be found on Remus' hands, neck and face as well. It's the same now. Not that Sirius really cares what's wrong with the kid, if he's being completely honest, but he can't help but feeling curious.

Remus blinks, his expression blank. “Thanks. I came over to ask if you wanted to look at my notes from class yesterday, you looked confused towards the end, so I thought I'd offer, but never you mind.” And then he's off to the dormitory.

Sirius scowls at his back. He wasn't _confused_ during class yesterday, he zoned out because he was bored. Bloody nerd that one.

“That was unnecessary of you,” Peter says, fixing Sirius with a reprimanding look.

Sirius splutters, incredulous, as he sits up straight in his armchair. “I- unnecessary of _me_? He's the one who said I looked fucking _confused_.”

“He didn't do it to be mean, he just wanted to loan you his notes.”

“I don't need his bloody-”

“Since when do you curse in every other sentence?” James cuts in. He looks mildly annoyed; fucking James, he's never proper annoyed or proper angry, he's just... mild. When Sirius doesn't respond, but merely glares, he shrugs and adds, “Gotta agree with Peter on this one, though; you were rude.”

“He-”

James cuts in again. “I know he's usually a pain in your arse, but he wasn't this time,” he says matter-of-factly. “And what did you go and insult his looks for? The bloke looks ill and tired all the bloody time, he has since we were in first year. Can't imagine he's happy about it or needs anyone, least of all you, to point it out.”

“He's always looked like that?” Sirius asks, anger forgotten for a moment.

Peter and James look at each other. “You've never noticed?” Peter asks.

“No? Unless you haven't been paying attention the last three years, I've been doing my absolute best to _avoid_ looking at him whenever possible.”

But over the next few months, Sirius can't help but _start_ noticing the fact that Remus does, indeed, look unwell quite often. About once a month, he starts looking extra pale and tired, then he's gone from classes for a day or two, and when he returns, he looks even worse – dark circles under his eyes, pale skin, matte hair and, once or twice, a new scar somewhere visible. For a brief second on one of these days in February, Sirius wonders how the rest of Remus' body looks, if maybe that too is lathered in scars. Because when he thinks about it, he's never seen the guy in any state of undress. When he says as much to James and Peter, they look thoughtful for a moment before they admit that neither have they.

A part of him wants to ask Remus what the hell the deal is. People don't fall ill _that_ often, do they? And all the scars just seem... well, unnatural. James and Peter tell him to leave it alone, that it's none of his business seeing as he's never once even _tried_ to be nice to Remus. Sirius doesn't say much to either of them for the rest of the day. 

Lily, once she gets wind of the most recent occupant of Sirius' thoughts, grabs a hold of him when he's on his way to Ancient runes and tells him sharply that someone's health is not for him to use a stimulant for his curiosity. Those were literally her words and Sirius responds that she's not nearly posh enough or old enough to be talking like that. When she walks away with her nose in the air, Sirius casts a Diffindo a her back so that her bag tears open and all her things fall out. Pleased with himself, he jumps into a small hideway hidden behind a tapestry.

James declares one day in the middle of February that he wants to throw a proper birthday party, with alcohol and all, when he turns fifteen next month. Sirius grunts that no one thought to throw _him_ a birthday party with alcohol when _he_ turned fifteen in November, to which James responds that he should have thought of it himself.

They get Frank, who's a seventh year (and a Prefect) now, to buy Butterbeers and Firewhiskey for them in Hogsmeade and tells every Gryffindor in fourth year and above that there's gonna be a party in the common room on Friday the 28th of March. In addition, they buy fireworks and start working on them with various charms so that they'll spell _'James Potter, wise beyond his years'_ once they're launched. In secret, Sirius adds James' middle name to the mix. Fleamont is a hilarious name and any Gryffindor deserves to know their Quidditch hero's full name.

The party's... interesting. Some of those attending have never touched alcohol a day in their lives and it shows. An hour or two before midnight, the general theme of the party is puking, falling, giggling and incoherent speech. Sirius has been served wine at home since he was eleven, James attended a few muggle parties over the summer, and Peter's been served Firewhiskey by his cousin on a number of occasions, so they do all right. Drunk, but all right.

At some point, Marlene, who looks positively radiant in a dangerously short brown suede skirt and a tight, orange turtleneck jumper, plonks down in Sirius' lap. Her eyes are a little unfocused, but she smells good and she's soft, so Sirius slips an arm around her waist and tugs her closer. They stay like that, talking directly into each other's ears, before Marlene suddenly surges forward, flings her arms around his neck and kisses him. After a second of drunken consideration, Sirius decides he's okay with it, so he kisses her back to the best of his abilities while Peter whoops, James laughs and calls out for everyone's attention, and Mary, Dorcas and Lily cheer.

Sirius wakes up on the floor in the common room the next day. Mary's fast asleep next to him with her head resting on his chest, snoring lightly. For a moment, Sirius isn't quite sure how he feels. Then he decides he's rather pleased and goes back to sleep.

The rules turn out to be that if you snog at a party, you're going out. So for a couple of months, Sirius is going out with Marlene. He's fine with it; she's pretty, smart and funny and though a little annoying, he does get daily snogging sessions out of the deal, which is nice. The more troublesome part is that Marlene is friends with Lily, who's friends with Remus, and thus Sirius ends up spending more time than he'd prefer in the company of said two individuals. 

Lily isn't _that_ bad, it turns out; she seems to have mellowed down a wee bit on the snotty-part and at the very least, she occasionally smiles at James and Sirius' jokes. On the other side, she's still friends with Snape, which absolutely no one, not even her best friends, seem to understand. But she won't hear a bad word about him and if Sirius does say a bad word about him (which he does, more often than not), she'll glare or stomp off.

Remus on the other hand hasn't mellowed down one bit. The only positive thing that can be said is that he mostly opts to ignore Sirius rather than argue with him. Sometimes, though, Sirius can't help but have a jab at him, and Remus doesn't hesitate to retaliate, and then they'll have it going for at least ten minutes before one of them tells the other to grow up (Remus) or to remove the stick logded in his arse (Sirius).

When exam season rolls around, Marlene dumps Sirius, rather loudly and furiously during breakfast one morning. Her reason, which she screams out for everyone to hear, is that he's incredibly inconsiderate of her feelings, not to mention ridiculously immature. Sirius is left somewhat dumbstruck, but after she's stormed off, he continues eating his breakfast and assures James that he, Sirius, is neither inconsiderate nor immature. He just can't be bothered being considerate of someone else's feelings every hour of every day, is all; it's too tedious and requires too much effort. James clearly disagrees, but doesn't argue.

Returning home to Grimmauld's Place in the summer of 1975 is terrible. His parents have taken to loudly and proudly declaring their support for this _'Dark Lord'_ who'll supposedly return the magical community to its former, purified glory. What makes matters even worse, is that Regulus is on their side. 

Sometime in July, Sirius is forced into a set of brand new black dress robes with green linings and dragged along to Bellatrix' wedding. Sirius hasn't seen her since she graduated from Hogwarts the summer before, and though he has to admit to himself that objectively speaking she makes a beautiful bride, the look of wild cruelty that's always been present in her eyes seems to have grown more pronounced. She also has this aura of determination, focus and power, and Sirius doesn't like it one bit; whatever it is that has Bellatrix looking driven can't be good.

The Daily Prophet serves a fair few reports about disappearances and, one time in early August, the attempted murder of a wizarding family on the South coast that Sirius has never heard of. He asks his mother one evening if all these crimes mean he won't much longer be allowed out in London on his own.

“Don't be silly,” she says sharply. “You're a Black, no harm will come to you. They know you're on their side.”

Sirius grits his teeth and glares at her. “I'm _not_ on their side,” he says harshly. Those words earn him a slap across the face and a new tiny scorch mark to the collection on his shoulder. “You can do that all you want,” he says furiously. “I'm not buying into any of this crap.”

And so Sirius ends up locked in his room for the next two weeks, only allowed out to go to the bathroom three times a day. So he's stuck in his room, and he spends his days burning several ancient books, blasting holes in the wall, levitating his bed and then dropping it so promptly it makes the whole flore vibrate, and planning his revenge.

The minute he's allowed outside again, he goes to muggle London. His first stop is a store that sells posters; he buys six that display gorgeous muggle girls with huge tits in skimpy bikinis. Then he buys a leather jacket, a pair of black boots from the brand Doc Martens, two pairs of tight black jeans, and four black t-shirts that display the logos of what he understands are popular muggle bands. His favourite is the one that has _'The Rolling Stones'_ written in white over a large red mouth with its tongue sticking out. He needs to ask someone muggle-born about this band the second he's back at Hogwarts; no doubt it's the kind of music that will make his parents throw a fit.

Once he's back home, he puts on the new clothes, stands in front of the mirror and uses a hairgrowth charm until his hair's down to his shoulders. It's always been on the long side, but now it's proper long. He grins at his own reflection. 

“Sirius Black, you are one fine specimen,” he says to himself.

His parents, particularly his mother, are furious; apparently his new look is thuggish and beneath him and makes him look like a common street whore. Sirius is so pleased that he's managed to anger his mother to the point of having her use the word 'whore' that he doesn't even retaliate. Regulus just stares at him, but if Sirius isn't completely mistaken, there's a hint of admiration in his eyes.

When September 1st arrives, he leaves the house so early in the morning that no one else has gotten up yet and thus there are no one present to stop him from being on his way in his muggle clothes. He's a fair few scars richer than he was two months ago, but he feels proper fancy as he strolls along the streets of London, suitcase in hand and a fag in his mouth. It makes him smell, but he likes the relaxing effect it has, not to mention how much of an extra edge it adds to his look.

Sirius is looking _fine_.

_**Fifth year** _  
_1975-1976_

James and Peter gape when they find Sirius on the train and lay eyes on him.

“What in _Merlin's stinkin' beard_ have you done?” James asks after a few seconds.

“They're just clothes,” Sirius says with a casual shrug.

“They're muggle clothes!” James exclaims. He sits down opposite of Sirius and eyes him up and down a number of times. Then he grins. “What'd your parents have to say about it?”

“Well, my father called me an utter disgrace and then went to his study, and my mother called me a whore, so I think they approve.”

James and Peter roar with laughter.

“It's... odd, but I guess you look good,” Peter says.

“You _guess_ I look good?” Sirius says with a snort. “I look bloody marvellous is what I do.”

They spend the next hour discussing Sirius' new look, the recent developments in the magical community, James' summer flirt with a muggle girl (“She had the most gorgeous red hair, I tell you!”), Peter's exam results (“Do you think I'll be able to get an owl in Potions?”), and whether or not Marlene is still mad at Sirius (“I mean, she barely looked at me at the end of last term...”).

When the sun's starting to set, Lily (who has a shiny, new Prefect badge on her chest) appears, surprisingly with Mary in tow rather than Severus. Peter asks her about it, and her answer is a vague, “Some things happened over the summer, it's not...” She trails off and looks rather upset, so Sirius opts not to comment.

In the week that follows, every single one of their teachers take to lecturing them on the importance of OWLs. No one seems to appreciate this; most students' faces turn increasingly panicked for each word that leaves the teacher in question's mouth. Sirius doesn't share that exact feeling, but his stomach does do an uncomfortable tumble more than once. James looks vaguely worried, Peter can't seem to stop gnawing on his lip, Snape looks even more sour than unusual, Mary takes notes rather frantically, Marlene's face switch between bright red and grey-ish white every other minute, and Lily looks like she's constantly on the verge of fainting. Remus looks relatively calm, annoyingly enough. What's even more annoying is that he's become a Prefect; it's not surprising, but it's annoying.

The workload they're expected to get through throughout in the autumn of 1975 is ridiculous. As a result, half the class seem to be locked in a permanent state of semi-panic by the time they reach the end of October. The only ones, at least of the Gryffindors, who seem capable of keeping up are Sirius, Remus and Lily. James probably would have been able to keep up if he hadn't spent all his time on the Quidditch pitch.

One day in mid-November, Sirius gets a letter from home. It says that he's to dress appropriately before he returns home for Christmas, in robes and cloak, and that if he has any intention of joining the Christmas festivities, he'll cut his hair. Sirius burns the letter, and he neither dresses appropriately nor cuts his hair. The result is a furious mother to deal with the very moment he sets foot inside the door of Grimmauld's Place 12.

“Would it cause you such great pains to at least _attempt_ to not embarrass us every time you come home?” shouts his mother, eyes cold as ice and her wand pressed against his cheek.

Sirius breathes heavily through his nose. “You know what, _mother_? I think it might! After all, as you've pointed out since I was seven bloody years old, I've made it my mission in life to be the black sheep of the family!”

“And you've succeeded! My eldest son, my greatest hope, and all you turned out to be was a disgrace! A _blood traitor_! The greatest _shame_ that could ever befall a mother!”

“Really _mother_?” Sirius yells. “The greatest shame?!”

“Yes, Sirius, the _greatest shame_!” she screams and then, she strikes her wand in a short, jabbing motion, and before he Sirius has had the time to react, he feels a deep, searing pain spread across the left side of his face.

Touching his cheek, he finds blood. He stares at his mother, furious and shocked. “You absolute _cunt_ ,” he hisses. He stands up straight and draws his wand from the pocket of his jeans, holding it up in front of his chest, ready to defend himself if she strikes again. “You're all so caught up in your deranged values that you can't even tell right from wrong. Blood purity? _Inbreeding_? Family members who, if the rumours are true, have taken to torturing muggle-borns and muggles for fun? You're all _insane_ and I'm _ashamed_ to be part of this family!”

“Then leave!” she screams. “Leave this house and don't you ever return unless you wish for more injuries!”

Sirius' blood is boiling, but he forces a laugh. “Oh, what, mother? You gonna torture me now? Use the Cruciatus on me perhaps? Maybe as entertainment during the family dinner on Christmas day? Or to use it as a means to prove to this Dark Lord of yours that you'd even torture your own son if he threatened your ideals?”

She doesn't say anything at once. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly, her face is pale, but her cheeks are red. “Maybe I will,” she whispers eventually. “Now _leave_ this house before I make good on that promise.”

So there Sirius is, wandering the streets of London alone, a few days before Christmas Eve. It's cold and it's wet and it's crowded and Sirius doesn't know if he wants to laugh, scream or cry. Maybe all three at once.

He ends up going to the Leaky Cauldron, from where he floos to James' place. James' parents, Euphemia and Fleamont, are shocked, to say the least, when a pale, wet, cold and partly blood-covered Sirius suddenly stumbles into their living room without warning. He apologises profusely for being so rude and tries to tell them that he can go back to London and get a room somewhere and that he completely understands if they find his behavior absolutely attrocious. But they won't hear it; Fleamont calls for their house elf to draw Sirius a bath (“In the big bathroom, if you'd be so kind,” he says to the tiny elf), while Euphemia fusses over his wound and sighs and says something about how certain people should never have children.

And so it is that Sirius spends Christmas 1975 at the Potters'. It's nothing short of wonderful. The house is huge, but warm and cosy in a way that Grimmauld's Place 12 has never been, and Euphemia and Fleamont have never met Sirius until now, but they treat him like he's their own and assures him several times that they're happy to have him and that he's more than welcome to come back for the summer holidays as well. Sirius doesn't say it out loud, he barely allows himself to think it, but it's horribly, almost painfully nice to have adults treat him with kindness and warmth and care.

In addition, it's nice to be able to spend time with James. They pass the days playing Exploding Snap and chess, eating too much at every meal, going to the cinema in the muggle village (Sirius nearly pissed himself the first time James took him; there were _a lot_ of loud and odd noises coming from that large canvas on the wall), doing some homework, and going to bed late every evening. It's perfect and blissful.

But then the holidays are over, and Sirius and James find themselves back at Hogwarts, where they now have a few short months left before their OWLs. They deal with the pressure by causing scenes and messes whenever they can, which lands them in detention on a weekly basis.

To Sirius' (and many others') surprise, Lily decides to have a party when she turns 16 late in January. When Peter asks her about it one day during dinner, discretely hinting that it's not very typical of her, she shrugs, smiles and simply says that she might as well, because why not? James is ecstatic, not just by the fact that she's having a party, but also because of her reasoning as to why. 

“See, Sirius?” he proclaims after they've retreated to the dormitory that evening. “She _is_ a great girl!”

Sirius snorts out a laugh. “And you base that conclusion on this one kind of okay thing she's done since we met her over four years ago?”

“Lily's nice,” Peter says, just as Remus chimes in with an irritated, “It's not the _only_ okay thing she's ever done.”

“I'm surrounded by a bloody squad of Lily-worshippers,” Sirius grunts before he opens the window next to his bed, perches himself down on the window sill and lights up a fag.

“Ugh, could you not?” Remus snaps from the other side of the room. “Those things make the whole room stink. Not to mention how bad they are for your health.”

Sirius grins. “You worried about me?”

“Hardly,” Remus says curtly. He wanders over to Sirius. “But they really do stink, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't smoke them in here, especially not when we're all about to go to bed.”

“Lighten up, Remus,” James says easily. He's sitting on his bed, the one next to Sirius'. “Give me one, Sirius, will you?”

Grinning at Remus, Sirius throws the pack to James, who catches it, fishes one out and lights it up with his wand. 

“Okay, no, that's even _worse_ ,” says Remus, downright offended now, by the looks and sounds of it. “You're nowhere near an open window, and you're on your _bed_. Your sheets are gonna smell absolutely revolting!”

“That's _my_ problem, innit?” James says, clearly unbothered, before he puffs out a cloud of smoke. “Unless you're planning on joining me here tonight, that is. You're welcome to, but I'm awfully clingy in my sleep; Sirius can vouch for it.”

Sirius hums. Oddly enough, Remus doesn't snap back with a quick comment. Instead, his cheeks turn red and he retreats to his own bed without another word. Sirius and James look at each other, both with their eyebrows raised. Peter blinks, looks back and forth between Remus and the other two, clearly confused.

Remus is such a _weirdo_ , Sirius thinks when he's trying to sleep later.

Lily's party is a hit, and Sirius admits his respect for her rises a fair few levels when she at some point is dancing on top of a table, a bottle of Firewhiskey in one hand and a fag in the other. She's a very pretty girl with a nice body, he thinks to himself as he watches her from across the room, mildly amused by her and the expression of pure joy on her face. It might not _that_ odd, really, that James fancies her. If only she could be fun all the time, and not just once in a while, when she's drunk.

Oddly enough, Lily does loosen up somewhat after that. A fair few times over the next couple of months, she even voluntarily seek out Sirius, James and Peter – in the common room, in the hallways, during meals – and hang out with them for an hour or two at the time. Sirius asks James if this has anything to do with him, if he's finally gotten to Lily, but James shakes his head.

“Must be me, then,” Sirius says with a sniff. “She's finally realised how hot I am, and how badly she wants me.”

That comment earns him bright pink eyebrows and comically large ears. As he's attempting to fix the damage, he looks up for a split second and finds Remus smiling at him from a leaning chair by the fireplace, clearly amused. He looks down as soon as his eyes meet Sirius'.

Winter turns into spring, James' birthday comes and goes, and suddenly they're only a short week away from taking their OWL exams. For every single fifth year student, that last week is spent revising. Sirius, having done his reading and homework all year, stays relatively calm, at least when compared to others. Oddly enough, Sirius thinks, the ones who seem to be freaking out the most are Remus and Lily, who without a doubt are the most studious Gryffindor fifth years to roam Hogwarts since the beginning of time.

The exams themselves are okay, Sirius thinks. He's not worried once it's all over; he might not get O's, or even E's, in Astronomy or in Potions, but other than those two, he's fairly certain he'll get E's or O's in everything. Others aren't as confident. Peter just moans with his head buried in his arms, James keeps gnawing on his lip while he flips back and forth in his books (“Why do you bother?” Sirius asks. “It's done, you can't do anything about it now either way.”), and Lily and Remus keep getting into ridiculously intense discussions about everything between heaven and earth, most of which isn't even school-related.

For the first time in his almost seventeen year long life, Sirius isn't going to Grimmauld's Place when the semester is over – he's going directly to the Potters'. As a result, he's actually looking forward to the holidays for once. Regulus doesn't seem as overjoyed. When they get off the train through the same door at King's Cross, he throws Sirius a glance that's part anger, part sadness, before he strides off.

“Don't worry about it,” James says, putting a hand on Sirius' shoulder. “It'll work out eventually.” He doesn't sound at all convinced, and Sirius can't really blame him.

It's a summer that's part serenity, part fright. Sirius does his best to ignore the frail state of the magical community, mostly because he can't escape the gnawing feeling that his family's involved in every single one of the attacks that the Prophet writes about. It's ridiculous to think like that, he knows, because they can't be involved in _all_ of them. Some of them, though. Definitely some of them. They've gotta be. James opts to ignore the situation, says that they're on holiday, that there's nothing they can do anyway, and that it doesn't help at all to worry. Sirius thinks James is annoyingly reasonable, but as Mr. and Mrs. Potter agree with James, he can't find it in him to protest.

Towards the end of June, James comes barging into Sirius' bedroom. He has what looks like a large, shiny piece of fabric in his hands, and his cheeks are red with excitement. Sirius understands why when James explains to him what the shiny piece of fabric is – a bloody _invisibility cloak_. A real one, not the kind that gets worn. James just got it from Mr. Potter, who told him it's been in the family for many generations. Sirius and James are almost beside themselves with excitement, at the mere _thought_ of what they could do with the cloak when they return to Hogwarts.

Their OWL results arrive in the middle of July. Sirius is quite pleased with his marks; Outstanding in Transfiguration, Arithmancy, Herbology, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Ancient Runes, Exceeds Expectations in Charms, Muggle Studies, History of Magic and Potions, and Acceptable in Astronomy. Who needs Astronomy anyway? Certainly not Sirius. James gets his Outstandings in Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Astronomy, and otherwise four Exceeds Expectations, two Acceptable and one Dreadful (in Divination, predictably enough).

Mr. and Mrs. Potter are over themselves with pride, not just over James' results, but also Sirius'. He doesn't know whether to throw himself at them or cry when Mrs. Potter returns from a shopping trip and first presents James with a new broom, and then Sirius with a brand new leather jacket and a terribly expensive sort of quill. He thinks of his own mother, and how he could have gotten ten O's and she would have barely glanced at him. If _Regulus_ gets ten O's, there will for sure be a family dinner with at least sixty guests and presents from each and every one of them.

Sirius isn't bitter. He's _not_. He's alright. 

Everything and everyone's gonna be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, so... that was the first chapter! Like I said in the notes at the beginning, it's very "summary"-ish, but the rest of the fic will NOT be like that. Anyways, tell me what you think and maybe leave a kudos if you liked it? My tumblr is pomonassprout, if you wanna come talk to me♡
> 
> (My English is rusty as all heck after spending too long barely speaking or writing it to any larger extent, so I apologise profusely for any grammatical- and/or spelling mistakes that may occur, feel more than free to point them out to me!)


	2. September 1976

_**September 1st 1976**_

Sirius is tired. The rational part of him understands why the Hogwarts train has to leave at eleven o’clock in the morning, but the side of him that enjoys sleeping until noon really doesn’t. He had to get up at nine, for Merlin’s sake. It’s a miracle he’s still awake, seeing as it’s now well past three o’clock. Sitting up straight, he arches his back, making it crack loudly, and uncrosses his legs.

“You ought to look happier,” James comments. He’s looking at Sirius with one eyebrow raised from where he’s sitting on the opposite side of the compartment. “This is the second last time we ever have to suffer through this train ride.”

“How’s that supposed to make me happy?” Sirius asks. “In case you don’t remember the conversation we had last week, I have absolutely no bloody clue what I wanna do after Hogwarts.”

“So? Neither do I, and I’m happy.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, but opts not to utter his thoughts. Of course James is happy, because from an economical point of view, he doesn’t have to find a job immediately after they’re done with school. He can do absolutely whatever he wants for the rest of his life if he so wishes. So can Sirius, but he’d then have to live on the streets and starve. 

A sudden eruption of laughter pulls him out of his thoughts. James and Peter, who is sitting next to James, are looking at him with wide, shit-eating grins on their faces. 

Sirius narrows his eyes. “What?” he says.

“Nothing, just… very fetching colour, that,” James says, trying, and failing, to contain his laughter.

Blinking, Sirius checks his reflection in the window. Right. Flashing green. His hair, that is. It’s flashing green. Turning his eyes back to James and Peter, he looks at them in turn. First James, then Peter, then back to James. Before either of them register what’s happening, Sirius has whipped his wand out from his cloak and cast a hex in James’ direction. 

“Not as fetching as that style, I’d say,” Sirius comments, smiling brilliantly at James’ now completely hairless head. Completely hairless. Hair, eyebrows and lashes, all gone.

Peter’s eyes flicker nervously back and forth between the two of them, as if he knows what’s gonna happen next. Which it does, after approximately five seconds of staring intensely at each other. They raise their wands at the exact same time, and, also at the exact same time, they jump to their feet and start shooting hexes in each other’s general directions, all non-verbal. Peter jumps out of the way when Sirius’ Jelly-Legs Jinx misses him by an inch, and sets the seat on fire. With a bark of laughter, Sirius ducks to avoid a stream of yellow sparks from James’ wand, which instead hits the shelf over his head and makes it melt completely in under two seconds.

“Really?” comes a shout from the door. Both Sirius and James lower their wands on instinct and turn ninety degrees. There, with brand new robes, a brand new haircut, and a disapproving expression on his face, stands Remus Lupin. 

Sirius grimaces. “Really,” he confirms. Putting on a snotty voice, he continues, “I was about to fall asleep, and James couldn’t have that, so he hexed my hair green. As you can surely understand, I couldn’t let that slide without any further ado.”

“And your solution was to destroy the compartment,” Lupin states as he puts out the fire on the seat and returns the shelf above Sirius’ head to its former solid state.

“Correct.” Lupin goes to put his wand back in his robes, and Sirius adds, “Aren’t you gonna take care of our looks before you put that thing away?”

“I don’t think a spell has been invented yet that could do anything to save your looks,” Lupin says, calm as ever. Turning on his heel, he adds, “Ten points from Gryffindor,” and then he’s gone, and the door is closed.

Huffing, Sirius plonks down in his seat. “I hate that guy.”

“Oh, do you?” James says dryly. “Why this time? Because he insinuated that you’re not as gorgeous as you’d like to think?” He points his wand at Sirius, and the momentary warm breeze that washes over his head tells him that his hair’s back to its normal state.

“Please,” Sirius snorts as he returns the favour by making James’ hair, eyebrows and lashes grow back. “No, because he’s been making our lives miserable since first year, and even more miserable since he made Prefect last year. It’s like he’s stalking us, just waiting for us to do something we shouldn’t, just so he can punish us, you know?”

This time, it’s James’ turn to snort. “Think you’re being a bit harsh there, mate. He annoys me, too, more often than not, but he only punishes us when he happens to come across us when we’re doing something we shouldn’t.”

Sirius scowls. “Whatever,” he says. Once again, the rational side of him has one viewpoint, while the side that’s ruled by emotions has another. The latter thinks that Remus Lupin is a stuck-up moron who needs to get a life. Bloke spends all his time with his nose buried in a book; it can’t be healthy. 

He says as much, and Peter laughs. “Oh, so now you’re worried about his health? How sweet of you.”

“Whatever,” Sirius says again.

The rest of the train ride passes without incident. By the time they step off the train in Hogsmeade, it’s started pouring down. Necessarily, they’re all soaking wet by the time they’ve made it into the castle. The entrance hall is filled with students drying their cloaks and hair, some, mostly younger ones, desperately attempting to do so with a hot air spell. 

James, Sirius and Peter grin. “I’d offer to help them, but there’s a valuable lesson to be learned here that I’d hate to deprive them of,” James says, sighing deeply and dramatically.

Sirius opens his mouth to answer, but before he gets as far, a sharp voice tears through the chattering of the crowd. “Potter! Black!” Sirius doesn’t need to turn around to find out whose fast steps are approaching behind him.

“Good evening, Professor,” James says smoothly once McGonagall’s within hearing range. “Did you have a nice summer?”

McGonagall’s eyes appear to be made of steel. “I have to say, Potter, that it was a lot better before Mr. Lupin came to inform me that you two managed to start the year off by losing ten points for Gryffindor.”

“’S not like it matters,” Sirius argues. “Unless someone gained any points on the train, there weren’t any points for us to lose.”

“Not the point, Mr. Black,” barks McGonagall. “I won’t give you a lecture, I’ve long since learned that that has no effect on you two, but mark my words: I will _not_ hesitate to put you in detention for _any reason whatsoever_ this year. Is that clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” they say in unison, producing their brightest smiles. Sirius swears he can almost see the corner of her mouth twitch.

“Very well,” she says before she turns to James and adds, “I’ll get you a list of students wishing to join our quidditch team by the end of next week.” And then she’s off.

Letting his smile falter, Sirius scowls. “Okay, now I really hate him. What kind of an arse runs to a teacher to tell on us even _after_ he’s taken points from Gryffindor?”

Neither James or Peter answer.

*

The first week of school is hard. Sirius can't remember the jump from fourth to fifth year being as extreme as the one from fifth to sixth year. They start out with nonverbal spells in Charms, which is a cakewalk as he and James taught themselves how to do that in one afternoon last year. Herbology is also okay, because... well, they're just plants; more dangerous plants than before, but still just plants. In Defense Against the Dark Arts, however, they start off with Unforgiveable Curses, which is interesting, but to try and understand and then _explain_ how one resists the Imperius Curse is difficult, to say the least. It's so difficult, in fact, that by the time they've gotten to Sunday evening, Sirius and James decide that it'd help to have some first-hand experience with the matter. Peter pales when they utter their idea and says that since the essay is none of his concern (he didn't qualify for the NEWT level class), he's not gonna stick around to watch.

As it turns out, however, performing an Unforgiveable Curse in the common room, isn't particularly popular, even if they do so nonverbally in a corner of the room and, obviously, only on each other.

“Are you _mad_?” Lily hisses at them once she's caught wind of what they're doing and has come marching over. “That curse is _illegal_! It could be _dangerous_! And I don't think that's what Prof-”

“It's not dangerous, Evans,” Sirius cuts her off with a lazy flick of his wand that releases James from the curse. “We're both consenting... well, not adults just yet, but we're only doing it on each other, and it's only for academic purposes.”

“And it's been very helpful in writing the essay,” James says, flashing Lily a smile. “We both know how it feels to be subjected to the curse, and let me just tell you that that makes it _a lot_ easier to understand the theory behind how to fight against it.”

For a couple of moments, Lily looks intrigued, but then she sets her eyes in them, first James, then Sirius and says through clenched teeth, “Don't you _dare_ do that again when there are other students present, _especially_ when there are first years present.”

“But we-”

“I don't _care_ how educational the experience was, Potter!” she explodes, loud enough that a fair few heads turn to look at them. “It's illegal and even someone as thick-headed as you must know that you'd get in a ton of trouble if someone found out! Twenty points from Gryffindor!” And then she storms off to the girls' dormitory before either of them can respond.

A few people are still staring at them, and Sirius grins. “Nothing to worry about, folks,” he says loudly. “Just our favourite Prefect discouraging underage drinking the day before we have classes. Drinking is bad, kids.” Everyone snorts and accepts the explanation by the looks of it as they go back to their own conversations.

James has plonked down in his chair and looks forlorn. “Great,” he says. “Now she thinks I'm on the verge of going dark.”

“Oh, come off it,” Sirius says impatiently as he too sits down. “You know how she is, she overreacts to everything.”

James frowns. “Yeah, but... that _was_ an illegal curse, she's right about that.”

“What, and you didn't know that before we started?”

“That's not what I meant, I just-”

“You just meant that she's got you by the balls for whatever reason, and she therefore has the ability to make you reconsider your every move in life,” Sirius cuts off, irritatedly. “Next thing everyone knows, you're gonna quit the Quidditch team because she thinks it's a barbaric sport or summat.”

“That,” James says and raises a finger and points at Sirius, “is blasphemy.”

Sirius smiles a little despite himself. Throwing a look at the clock, he grimaces. “Time for bed, I suppose.”

“It's nine o'clock,” James says, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius stands up throws his bag over his shoulder. “Yeah, but I barely got any sleep last night because _someone_ was snoring and talking in his sleep until it was almost three.”

“So you're actually going to bed at nine o'clock.”

“I actually am, yeah. Have to get up a little earlier tomorrow to finish the essay for McGonagall, too.”

“Oh, damn... Mind waking me up as well? I haven't written the conclusion on that yet.”

“Sure. Good night, don't wake me when you get in.”

“Just throw a damn silencing charm on your bed.”

“I can't get it to last for more than half an hour or so, so I'd rather you just be quiet.”

“Fine, you bloody grandma. Good night.”

The dormitory is freezing cold. Looking around, Sirius finds the window between his and James' bed wide open. Hurrying over to close it, he curses himself; didn't he close it after the fag he had after lunch?

“Leave that open, will you?” snaps a voice somewhere behind him.

Sirius turns around, only to find a severely annoyed Remus standing there in his pyjamas, one hand on his hips and the other one holding a toothbrush.

“It's bloody freezing,” Sirius snaps back. “You can't honestly expect me to sleep with that open tonight.”

“It's you who's making that part of the room stink with those cigarettes you insist of smoking, and in _here_ , where we all _sleep_ no less.”

“Oh, we all sleep here? Really? Well, damn, it's a good thing you told me, because I've been under the impression that we've all been sleeping in various corners of the castle over the last five years.”

Remus looks almost bored. “Stop being such a prick, will you? Some of us don't enjoy the stench of those things.”

Raising an eyebrow, Sirius sits down on his bed, fishes out the cigarette pack he has in his pocket, takes one out and lights it up. “Personally I find it relaxing,” he says before taking a drag.

“No, you don't,” Remus says stiffly. “You only do it because you've seen muggles do it and you think it looks cool.”

“I've seen plenty of witches and wizards do it, too, thank you very much.” Then, after a moment, he continues. “My mother used to light one up at parties, and you won't ever find anyone who's further from a muggle than she is. Of course, she had a fancy device to put the actual fag in, to make it look more posh I reckon, so I assume she'd throw a fit if she saw me like this.”

Remus just stands there for a few seconds, looking at Sirius, then his expressions softens somewhat. “I think there are better ways to rebel against your parents than to smoke.”

“I'm not doing it to rebel,” Sirius says curtly, annoyed again. “Those days are behind me, haven't you heard?” He takes another drag, a deep one that nearly makes him cough.

It's not often that Sirius has seen Remus directly uncomfortable. In fact, the last time (that Sirius remembers at the top of his head) was when Snape, back in fourth year, asked him straight out why he was ill so often. But now Remus does, indeed, look quite uncomfortable; he's looking directly at Sirius, but his gaze flickers.

“Yeah, I heard... some things,” he says eventually. Pause. “Look, can you just please not smoke in here? The smell gives me a headache.” Then he goes back into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

Sirius scowls at nothing in particular. He'll smoke wherever he damn well pleases. There are potions that can help with headaches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the first chapter was mostly just a prologue of sorts, I figured I'd just upload the first actual chapter now. Lemme know what you think and/or come talk to me [_on tumblr_](https://pomonassprout.tumblr.com/)! Thanks for reading♡


	3. September/October 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: I've decided to write this fic in past tense instead of present tense. I'll go back and fix the two first chapters very, very soon :)

Despite Lily's outburst and reprimands, Sirius and James received top marks on their essay on the Imperius Curse. Professor Birdwhistle praised them for having truly understood the principles behind and the strength of character required to fight the curse. He also told them, with a wry smile that made his long moustache curl, that he hoped they would both one day be forced to use their newly acquired knowledge in the real world. This statement, as with many things Birdwhistle said, was met by stunned silence. James and Sirius grinned at each other, though. Unfortunately, it only lasted for about five seconds before they found out that their next homework assignment was on the Cruciatus Curse.

When the lesson was over and they were on their way out of the classroom, Lily caught up with them. One of her eyebrows were raised when she spoke. “I suppose you're planning on exercising that one on each other as well, for _'academic purposes'_?”

Surprisingly enough, Sirius didn't get the chance to respond before James stopped dead in his tracks. “Of course we're not,” he says flatly. “The Imperius isn't dangerous when used in the way we used it – I've researched it. But we're not gonna _torture_ each other for good marks on an essay. You can't honestly believe we're that daft?”

Lily seemed taken aback by his tone. She cocked her head to the side and considered him. “I suppose not,” she said. “Sorry.” Offering James a faint smile, she ran off to catch up with Marlene and Mary.

They walked in direction of the Great Hall, ready for lunch. Sirius had skipped breakfast and his stomach had been growling on and off for the last hour. “I'd never have thought that being stood up to is something she likes,” he said as they sat down by the Gryffindor table. He reached eagerly for a ham sandwich, and managed to swallow half of it in a single mouthful before James had even responded.

“You learn something new every day,” James said absentmindedly as he, with slightly less vigour than Sirius, started eating. He was staring into thin air. “I can't believe she thought we'd use the Cruciatus on each other... Is her opinion of me _that_ low?”

“Her opinion on _us_ is that low,” Sirius corrected after another big mouthful of sandwich.

James sighed. “That doesn't really help, Sirius.”

“What doesn't help?” Peter had just sat down next to James, and he was looking back and forth between them, curious.

“Nothing, Pete,” Sirius said with a wave of his hand. “Lily was mean.”

“Ah,” was Peter's only reaction.

*

September turned into October, and thus the weather became grimmer by the day. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't the only thing that was grim. When Sirius, James and Peter, with Remus right behind, entered the Great Hall for breakfast one day close to Halloween, they were met by a somewhat unusual atmosphere. Among the usual chatter and laughter, a few students, mostly older ones, had somber expressions on their faces, and some were talking in hushed voices among themselves. Throwing a quick glance up at the teachers' table, Sirius concluded that the teachers looked unusually grave and all of them, except for Dumbledore, had their noses buried in a paper.

Sirius scouted out Marlene, who he knew was receiving the Daily Prophet, and headed over to where she was sitting with Mary, Dorcas and Lily. “What's going on?” he asked, squeezing in between Marlene and Dorcas. “What's gotten everyone's knickers in a twist before I've even had a cup of coffee?”

Marlene pointed to the front page of the paper lying on the table in front of her. “A ministry employee was found tortured and murdered, just a few streets away from the Ministry.”

James, Peter and Remus, who have followed Sirius, read the headline over Sirius' shoulder.

“Oh, fuck me...” James mumbled. Lily stared at him, and he hurried to add, “Sorry, I didn't mean- I just meant... well, shit.”

“Yeah, shit indeed,” Marlene said. She folded the paper and handed it to Sirius. “Take it if you want, I'm done with it.”

“What happened, then?” Sirius asked as he put the paper in his bag. “Why was he tortured? Did he have information that... someone wanted?”

“ _She_ was a maintenance witch,” Dorcas said. Her hands were folded on the table, so tightly that her dark skin was turning white around the knuckles. “She didn't know anything of importance, but she was muggle-born.”

A heavy feeling settled deep in Sirius' chest. No wonder the girls were looking so pale; three of the four of them were muggle-born. Only Mary was half-blood. Sirius exchanged looks first with James, then with Peter, and last with Remus. None of them were muggle-born; Sirius and James were pure-bloods (blood traitors, but still), and Remus and Peter were half-bloods. None of them were in any immediate danger.

James put one hand on Lily's shoulder, the other on Dorcas'. “Don't worry about it, yeah?” he said quietly. “You're safe at Hogwarts, and I don't reckon anyone's going after muggle-borns' families.” The 'yet' hung in the air. Dorcas merely nodded, the tight curls in her black hair bouncing ever so slightly. Lily, on the other hand, turned her head to look up at James before she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

Sirius, in a sudden fit of worry, put a hand on Marlene's back and gave her a brief kiss on the cheek. She offered him a half-smile that didn't hide the nervousness in her hazel-coloured eyes. He knew what she was thinking; in under two years, they'd be leaving Hogwarts, and then what? What if the disappearances, the torturing and the murders hadn't stopped? What if it'd all gotten worse? What if all the muggle-born students in Hogwarts would be in danger the second they set foot outside the castle?

“Well,” Remus said, clapping his hands together. “None of us are gonna survive anything, especially not torture, if we don't get some food in our systems.” And then he sat down and started filling up a plate with eggs, bacon, beans and toast. Sirius stared; and Marlene had accused _him_ of being insensitive?!

James looked for a moment like he was about to explode, clearly having the same thoughts as Sirius. But then all four girls chuckled and made sounds of agreement, and they too started eating. Peter looked at James and Sirius, as if asking if it was okay for him to eat now, and as the others seemed to have forgotten about everything dark and dreadful, they merely shrugged their shoulders.

By lunchtime, it seemed that every student in Hogwarts had either forgotten or decided to ignore the dire news they'd been served at breakfast, which... well, Sirius didn't get it. Shouldn't something be done? Shouldn't _they_ do something? Then again, as James pointed out, what exactly were they supposed to do that wasn't already being done by the Ministry and, probably, Dumbledore?

*

A week passed and no more dreadful news showed up in the Prophet, and so daily life at Hogwarts was only interrupted by small, insignificant matters. On Halloween, one such incident occurred when Sirius released a niffler on the second floor corridor, thus effectively destroying everything there that wasn't solid stone. Sirius, James and Peter were standing in a corner, hidden under James' invisibility cloak, nearly beside themselves with laughter as they watched McGonagall and Flitwick do their best to calm a group of hysterical first- and second years, while Slughorn and Kettleburn struggled to rein in the niffler.

“I mean, the animal was just sitting there, outside Kettleburn's office, Merlin knows why,” James said between fits of laughter when the three of them sat on Sirius' bed half an hour later, each with a well deserved fag in one hand and a glass of Firewhisky in the other. James had stolen the niffler, and Peter had stalled Professor McGonagall while Sirius released it from the cage they were keeping it in. It was all about team effort, in Sirius' opinion.

“You did the only thing that was right,” Sirius said solemly. “Anything could have happened to the cute little bugger.”

“We saved it from mortal peril,” James agreed, in the same solemn tone.

“Might have been trampled to death by a rogue unicorn if James hadn't rescued him,” said Peter.

And then they were lost in laughter again.

Their mini-party was interrupted by a sudden outburst of loud noises from the common room. For a split second, they looked at each other with wide eyes. Then, after listening in closer, they recognised laughter and a shout that sounded a lot like, “Party-time!” 

Sirius grinned and bounced up on his feet, fag and glass still in hand. “Apparently there's gonna be a party downstairs. Maybe they're celebrating the adventures of Nancy the Niffler.”

“Must be,” James said, just as Peter said, “I thought it was a male niffler.”

“A male niffler named Nancy,” Sirius said as they descended down the stairs. They were met by a group of first years who were on their way up the stairs, looking happy, but tired.

In the common room, all the chairs and couches were occupied, and most students older than fourteen had some sort of alcoholic drink in their hand. Sirius couldn't help but wonder where they'd all gotten it from. Apparently James was wondering the same thing, as he was giving Sirius a quizzical look. Peter had already buggered off to join Dorcas, who was sitting on the floor next to a leaning chair that Marlene and Lily were sharing.

While Sirius and James were standing there, trying to figure out what group to join, Remus came wandering over. He had a glass filled with clear liquid in his hand, and the easy smile on his face told Sirius that it in all likelyhood wasn't water.

“Gotten a head start?” he asked, nodding at Sirius' glass.

“So have you,” Sirius said defensively. He tried to discretely stomp out the fag on the stairs.

“Wasn't gonna accuse you of anything,” Remus said, shrugging. “You're celebrating, I suppose.” When neither of them answered, Remus' smile widened somewhat. “The niffler. There's no way that wasn't your doing.”

Sirius smiled weakly, but didn't address the statement; he wasn't gonna lose any house points because of a niffler. “What are you drinking?” he asked instead.

“Muggle stuff.”

“Is it any good?”

“It tastes like pinecones.”

James made a noise of disgust. “I'll stick to Firewhisky,” he said and raised his glass in salute. Taking a sip, he started scouting the room again, back and forth a number of times, before his eyes landed on Sonya Jill, a tall, blonde fifth year who was the current Keeper on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and he sauntered off to join her and her friends. Sirius had no interest in being left alone with Remus, so he returned to the dormitory, grabbed his bottle of Firewhisky, ran back down and plonked down on the armrest of the chair where Mary was sitting.

She tipped her head and grinned at him, already pleasantly buzzed if Sirius wasn't mistaken. “Hi there,” she said.

“Hey,” he said, grinning back. “How come the Halloween feast turned into a Gryffindor party?”

“Oh, no particular reason,” she said. “People were in a good mood, we didn't want the evening to end, but obviously we couldn't stay in the Great Hall, so Remus and Marlene left the feast to find drinks, and then we all came here, and now are we are.”

“And now here you are,” Sirius repeated with a nod. “And I'm sorry, but did you say _Remus_ and Marlene went to find drinks?”

“Mhm,” she hummed, seemingly not taking notice of the disbelief in his voice.

“Right. Okay, then.”

“Hey, how's Potter's quest for Lily's heart going?”

Sirius had been about to take a sip of his drink, and the question made him snort so hard with laughter he inhaled half of the glass' contents. Once he'd gotten through a round of coughing and wheezing, he refilled the glass and looked at Mary. “Not too well, last time I checked, but I reckon you know more about that than I do.”

She quirked one neatly plucked eyebrow. It was quite an attractive look on her, Sirius thought; seductive, in a way. “How do you figure?”

“James' thoughts on the matter are more or less laid bare for all of Great Britain to see, aren't they? Lily's more of an enigma.”

“What, and you think she's any less of an enigma to us?” Mary threw her head back in laughter. “You might be a star student, Black, but that doesn't make you any less dim.”

“Why do you think I am a star student, MacDonald? It's because I don't spend any brain capacity whatsoever on other people's love lives.”

“I'll toast to that.” They klinked their glasses together and drank. The burn of the whisky got slightly milder for each sip. “What about your own love life?” she asked once she'd swallowed. “Do you spend any brain capacity on that?”

“No brain capacity's needed, love, I've got everything going for me; looks, intelligence, good name...”

“Does the good name still count when you've been disowned by your family?”

Sirius frowned, feeling a twinge of irritation. “Careful now.”

She didn't seem bothered in the slightest. “Fine. I wanna point out that to most of us, especially those who are muggle-born, that fine name of yours doesn't mean shit anyway, disowned or not.”

“No? You're not muggle-born.”

“No, but I wasn't raised to believe that one's name has any importance in life whatsoever either.”

“Consider yourself lucky, then.”

“Oh, I do, believe me.” She smiled. “But for real, I haven't seen you going out with anyone since Marlene and that was... what, at the end of fourth year?”

Shrugging, Sirius took another gulp of his drink. “Yeah. And?”

“ _And_ why not? Do you miss her? Unable to move on or summat?”

Sirius barked with laughter. “No, definitely not. Sweet girl and all, but no.” When Mary just looked at him, he thew his hands in the air. “Just because I'm not going out with anyone for everyone to see, it doesn't mean I'm not having fun, does it? Why are you so curious anyway? You interested?”

Her response was merely to stand up, wink and walk away. Sirius took it as a yes, and he was feeling pretty damn pleased with himself when he slid off the armrest and took her spot in the chair. He didn't miss Marlene, that was for sure, and truth to be told, he wasn't entirely certain he was cut out for going out with one girl, for weeks on end. He liked the snogging, but even that got tedious eventually. He'd also liked the touching and the fondling he'd done with that muggle girl, Sarah, over the summer, but do it with the same person for extended periods of time? Sirius could do without that, he reckoned. At least for now.

As his thoughts wandered off on their own, he gulped down Firewhisky at high speed and rolled his eyes at his own soppy self. He was too bloody young to be worrying about _girls_ , of all things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said in the notes in the beginning of the chapter, I've decided to go with past tense instead of present tense, and this chapter was originally written in present tense aka I had to go back and fix it, so if there are any verbs I've forgotten to change, I'm really sorry! Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter, lemme know what you thought and/or come talk to me [on tumblr](https://pomonassprout.tumblr.com/) if you wanna, thanks for reading!♡


	4. October 1976

Sirius' bed was a mess. He'd overslept, he'd missed breakfast, his Ancient Runes class started in two mintutes, and he couldn't locate any clean socks, despite having emptied his entire suitcase on the bed. In the end, he muttered, “Fuck it,” and put his shoes on, flung his bag over his shoulder and ran off towards the door. As he sprinted in direction of the Ancient Runes classroom on the third floor, he built up quite a large amount of frustration towards James and Peter. Neither of them had thought to wake him up when they'd left for breakfast and he'd clearly been dead to the world? _Neither of them?_

He arrived at the classroom and apologised to Professor Babbling with a heavily exaggerated politeness to his voice, before he slumped down in his seat and focused on getting his respiration under control. Remus was glaring at him, and Sirius glared right back. What right did _Remus_ have to glare at Sirius? If maybe the bloody git had bothered to wake Sirius before he'd left for breakfast, then there wouldn't have been any interruption of his precious lesson.

Maybe it was his own fault that they'd arrived here, seeing as it was, indeed, he who'd insisted they celebrated his birthday on his actual birthday, which just so happened to have fallen on a Wednesday. It was also he who'd refused to hand over his bottle of Firewhiskey when James, Peter and Dorcas had tried to tell him he'd had enough. Come to think of it, his behaviour might have been a bit twat-like. People were used to Sirius being a bit of a twat, though; this time should hardly make a difference.

He didn't get the chance to yell at James and Peter until lunch. 

“I missed _breakfast_ ,” he hissed as he showled down sausages and beans. “And I barely ate anything for dinner last night! I'm famished, can't you see?”

James rolled his eyes. “We tried to wake you, you git. I even practised Aguamenti on your face, several times, but all you did was to pull your covers up and grunt. What would you have us do? Shove you out of bed? Levitate you down here in nothing but your birthday suit? As if that would have put you in a better mood...”

Sirius scowled. “You could have at least have brought me some toast from breakfast.”

“We wouldn't have seen you until now either way,” Peter said, looking unsure.

“You're awful friends and I hate you both.”

“Can't blame your friends for getting so pissed you're impossible to wake, Sirius,” Marlene's voice said right behind him.

He turned his head and glared at her. “Sod off, McKinnon.”

“Oh, so it's 'McKinnon' now, is it?” she said. “Last night you were all up in my face, asking if it wouldn't be nice to revisit old times, but in bed and with less clothes than before.”

For a moment, Sirius forgot he was angry. “You're not serious. I didn't actually say that?”

“You did, indeed. I almost agreed as well. Probably would have, if James hadn't come and dragged you off.”

Rather than being grateful towards James for making sure he didn't embarrass himself by doing something he'd surely have regretted today, Sirius' anger flared up again. Not only did he almost starve to death today, he would have also have gotten laid last night if it hadn't been for James' interference.

Marlene strolled off, and Sirius turned back to James, glaring again. “I could have done the deed with Marlene last night, and you _prevented_ it?! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Will you calm down?” James said evenly. “You would have completely mucked it up and you know it. Bloody hell, mate, you were so pissed you couldn't even walk straight, and apparently you don't even _remember_ almost 'doing the deed' with her. I'm all for you getting some, because then maybe you'd stop exploding every time something happens that you don't like, but... no.”

Sirius plucked at the remaining piece of sausage on his plate. “You just didn't want me to get some before you,” he said eventually, scowling at the table.

“That's the spirit,” James said, slapping Sirius' back.

Rationally, Sirius knew he couldn't blame anyone but himself, but his emotions didn't agree, and he therefore spent the rest of the day sulking. At nine o'clock he went to bed, only to escape people who constantly approached him to tell him how much fun last night had been and how he'd looked _so_ ridiculous wearing Marlene's beaded blouse.

*

“Sirius, can you please stop that?”

“Huh?” Sirius was dragged out from his daydream. It had been a quite nice one, in which he'd been snogging Orabelle Ogden in a hidden corner of the library. They were in the same Herbology-class and were seated right opposite each other, so he got plenty of time to check her out. Occasionally, he caught her checking him out, too.

“Can you stop that?” Lily repeated. She was eyeing him, mildly annoyed. Her hair was wet.

“What was I doing?” Sirius asked. Throwing a look around at Peter, Mary and James, he realised that they, too, had wet hair, which was a tad odd as they were sitting in the library.

“You were making it rain,” James said as he waved his wand at everyone in turn, vanishing the water.

“Thanks, James,” Mary said dryly. “What were you thinking about, Sirius?”

“I think we'll all be better off not knowing,” Lily said.

James nodded, grimacing. “I agree with Lily.”

“Why?” Peter asked, looking at the others in turn.

Mary smirked. “Have you ever, one single time, been paying attention when Flitwick talks?” Before Peter got the chance to answer, she continued. “When you create weather phenomenons, such as snow, rain or wind, while being lost in thought, it's often because of emotions running wild, alas not all that unusual with teenagers such as ourselves.”

“My, my, MacDonald,” Sirius drawled. “Decided to become our next star student, have you?”

Mary shrugged. “He was talking about emotions running wild.”

“And you felt attacked?” Lily suggested.

“Precisely, dear,” Mary said.

James clapped his hands. “Alright, if feelings-hour is over and Sirius is ready to concentrate again, can we maybe get back to this? I'd rather not get detention.”

Sirius looked down at his textbook. Venomous Tentaculas and their properties. As far as Sirius could tell, there weren't any useful properties, unless you wished to severely injure someone. Reading another couple of paragraphs, Sirius could conclude that Venomous Tentaculas would be highly useful in battle, granted you knew how to handle them so that they didn't attack you before you could get them to attack your target. He made a mental note to ask Professor Sprout specifically about that.

“It doesn't say here in this book, but I know I've read somewhere that in small doses, the venom can be highly useful in certain healing potions,” he said as he flipped back and forth between the pages.

He looked up to find Lily staring at him, looking rather stunned. “Yeah, that's... you're right. Slughorn mentioned it at the end of last term; the venom's added to some potions they use to heal severe burns. It doesn't add anything to the actual healing, but it reacts with some of the other ingredients and speeds up the process. They only use it for really, really bad burns, like when it's life and death, because-”

“Because it speeds up the healing process and thus increase the chances of survival,” Sirius finished.

“Precisely,” Lily said. “I can't believe I didn't remember that... But oh, this is great! You know how much Professor Sprout loves it when we use information from other lessons in her essays. Nice job, Black.”

Sirius smiled.

They finished writing their essays and were back in the common room before nine o'clock. Mary walked straight over to Marlene and Dorcas, who were on the floor in front of the fireplace, while Lily and Peter headed over to Remus, who was sitting in an armchair by the window. James followed them, and Sirius followed James.

“Finished with the essay?” Sirius heard Remus ask Lily.

“All done,” she confirmed. “And we got a couple of really good paragraphs in. You remember what Slughorn said this spring, about the venom and healing potions?”

Judging by the emotions that flicker across Remus' face, first confusion, then realisation, he'd forgot until just then. “Well, shit,” he said with a small laugh. “I'd completely forgotten about that, as of matter in fact.”

Lily grinned. “Yeah, me too. It was Sirius who remembered, actually.”

Remus looked to Sirius, eyebrows raised. “You for real?”

“Yes, _actually and for real_ , Mr. and Mrs. Prefect,” Sirius said, peeved. “You two do know I got five O's and four E's on my OWLs, right?”

“What?” Lily and Remus said in unison.

James sniggered, Peter snorted.

“Not that I thought you were stupid or anything,” Lily said quickly. Her cheeks had turned pink. “I just... I didn't know. Sorry.”

“You didn't ask,” Sirius said, grinning.

“Would've thought you'd flaunt it at every chance you got,” Remus said. “We all sat here sharing our results the first day back, you didn't say anything.”

“He wasn't here, he was in the library with Marlene,” James said.

“How do you remember exactly where he was?” Lily asked. “You two are freakishly close.”

James poked her waist. “I remember because we started discussing the exams, and he got bored and said he'd go to library, because Marlene was there and he was thinking he might get-”

“Alright, alright,” Lily said loudly. “We get it.” She turned to Sirius. “Were you successful?”

Sirius sniffed. “A nobleman never kisses and tells.”

“ _Nobleman_?” Peter said, laughing. “You're no more of a nobleman than that niffler we released a fortnight ag-” He was stopped by James slapping a hand over his mouth.

It was quiet for a moment, then Remus burst out laughing. Sirius didn't know if he'd ever heard Remus laugh before, not up close like this. “I knew it was you,” he simply said.

Lily wasn't quite as pleased. “You're _joking_ ,” she said, incredulous.

James smiled widely. “It was certainly intended as a joke, yes. Worked quite nicely, too, if I may say so myself.”

“You- the whole corridor was destroyed!”

“Not the _whole_ corridor,” Sirius corrected.

“Oh, no, the floor, the walls and the ceiling were still in order by the time Kettleburn managed to get a hold of the animal,” Lily said, sarcasm oozing from every word.

“And it took McGonagall, Flitwick and Slughorn all of ten minutes to get everything up and go again,” Peter chimed in. 

Sirius nodded. “Precisely. No harm done. We didn't even get detention, since they were never able to prove it was us.”

“Sadly for you, you've now told me and Remus.”

Sirius looked at James, then at Peter. “For real?” he asked.

“Come on, Lily,” Remus said, rather unexpectedly. “It was two weeks ago, and while I hate to agree with Sirius, there was no real harm done.”

Lily gaped at Remus. “I- you-” She interrupted herself, and sighed deeply. “Oh, fine. But if you pull something similar again, I'll keep this little piece of information stored in the back of my head.”

“Imagine tainting such a pretty head with such useless information,” Remus said, shaking his head.

Nodding pompously, James said, “Have to agree with Remus on this one.”

“It's a great shame, though,” Sirius said. “I mean, our plan for Christmas was to release a Thestral in the Great Hall and hide raw meat in every corner of the castle. Now we're gonna have to put that on ice.”

“As if any of you are even able to see a Thestral, much less catch and handle one,” Lily laughed.

“I can see them,” Peter said. Lily made big eyes at him, and he shrugged. “My gran, she died when I was sitting by her bedside. Nothing dramatic, but I've seen death, so...”

“That's twice this evening you've assumed to know everything about us and thus judged us accordingly,” Sirius said, raising his eyebrows at her. He wasn't actually annoyed; if anything he found the whole discussion rather amusing.

“I- yeah, alright, I've been in the wrong twice now,” she said, throwing her hands up as if in surrender. “But that doesn't mean that bringing a Thestral into the Great Hall is in any way-”

“That was a joke,” James said, defusing what appeared to be a slowly detonating bomb.

She blinked. “Oh. Right.”

There was a lull in the conversation and Sirius' eyes strayed around the room. When he goy back to their little group, his gaze happened to fall onto Remus' lap, and he frowned. “Uhm...” he said. “Remus, what, exactly, is that in your lap?”

All eyes turned to Remus' lap, and he picked up the small piece of woollen fabric, holding it up for everyone to see. “It's a scarf,” he said. “Or, half of one anyway.”

“I- you- you're _knitting_?” Sirius asked, staring at the yarn, then the pins sticking out of the top at the half-finished, Gryffindor-red scarf. Then he snorted. “And just when I thought you couldn't get any nerdier. Merlin... _Knitting_ , really?”

“What's nerdy about knitting?” Remus countered. “It's a good way to pass the time and it's useful as well. It's bloody cold outside, if you haven't noticed.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but you have enough money to buy scarves.”

“But I like making them.”

“Do you think you could manage to be-”

“Can't you just let the man knit, Sirius?” James asked. He sounded bored. “It's not like he's bothering anyone. And the scarf looks nice. Could you make me one, Remus? I'd pay you, of course.”

“You should get in touch with my mum,” Peter said. “She'd be delighted to know I have a friend who knits.”

“Mine, too,” Lily said. “Mum tried to teach me a couple of times, but it was never my thing, and Tunia never got the hang of it, no matter how much she tried.”

Sirius stared at them all in turn. They'd gone mad, the whole lot of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!♡


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